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Moonbeam City Dazzle in the Doghouse

TONIGHT, MOONBEAM CITY IS UNDER SIEGE AT THE HANDS OF A PETTY THUG TURNED WARLORD. IN JUST A SINGLE NIGHT, HE TURNED $42 OF PURSE MONEY INTO A VERITABLE EMPIRE OF DRUG TRAFFICKING, ARMS DEALING, AND INFANT NEGLECTING. THE MADMAN ANSWERS TO THE NAMElt;igt; EL DIABLO MALO.lt;igt; TRANSLATION: THE BAD DEVIL. A NICKNAME AS UNCREATIVE AS IT IS TERRIFYING.

ARE YOU PLEASED WITH YOURSELF? NO MORE THAN USUAL. SURE, YOU ONLY LET ONE MEASLY GUY GET AWAY, AND NOW HE’S RUNNING THE GODDAMN CITY. NOT THE WHOLE CITY, JUST UPPER MIDTOWN AND LOWER DOWNTOWN AND MIDDLE UPTOWN LOWTOWN. BESIDES, IT’S MOSTLY POOR PEOPLE. WHERE EXACTLY DID YOU END UP LAST NIGHT?.

I WAS PURSUING SOME HOT LEADS. LEGALLY, I CAN MAKE ANY THREE PEOPLE HERE DO EACH OTHER. TAKE IT. SHOW YOUR FRIENDS. WHO WANTS SOME? slurps loudly HOW LONG IS THIS GOING TO LAST? AS LONG AS HEARTLESS CROOKS HAVE SNAKES FOR HEARTS. NO, THIS.

I PAID FOR 48 HOURS. GET YOUR SKANKS OUT OF MY OFFICE. HEY, THEY HAVE NAMES, PROBABLY. whispering KEEP DANCING. I’LL MEET YOU IN THE MEN’S ROOM IN FIVE. DAZZLE, I NEED YOU TO FOCUS, AND I’M GONNA HELP YOU BY TAKING AWAY SOME DISTRACTIONS.

FOR STARTERS. YOUR GUN. WHAT? THEN ALL I’LL HAVE ARE THESE WORTHLESS KNIVES. AND I’M DISMANTLING YOUR NAP NOOK. SO I’M SUPPOSED TO NAP ON MY COUCH LIKE A DOG? OH, AND I HOPE YOU’RE NOT TOO ATTACHED TO THIS. NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO. HOW ELSE WILL PEOPLE KNOW THAT I’M THE NUMBER ONE COP?.

I CAN’T DRINK OUT OF A TROPHY. I’LL LOOK LIKE AN IDIOT. I’LL TELL YOU HOW. GO OUT AND CAPTURE THAT PSYCHOPATH. I’M GIVING YOU FIVE DAYS, DAZZLE, OR YOU’LL BE GONE SO FAST, YOUR HEAD’LL SPIN. MY HEAD DOESN’T KNOW THE MEANING OF THE WORD SPIN. slurps and exhales sharply THIS IS HUMILIATING.

YOU’RE TELLING ME, BROTHER. IT TASTES LIKE DEATH. REALLY? BECAUSE I DRINK FROM THE CUP OF LIFE. RAD CUNNINGHAM, KING DICK OF THE ASS FOREST. I SEE YOU’VE MET MY SPECIAL LADY. I’VE BEEN USING HER FOR ALL KINDS OF THINGS: SPITTING TOBACCO, GIVING BATHS TO MY MICE,.

Moonbeam City I Kiss the Reef in Aquatica

(Tate) Ah, the old submopod. You know, your mother and I conceived you in a vessel like this. Dad, that that’s inappropriate. No, no, no, no, it’s fascinating. How did you find the space? Well, she kinda shimmied up the side. Can ICan I Can I show you?.

Sure. Am I you or your wife? Ugh. No, I’m me. And then if you just scoot up and spread eagle. Ugh. Like this? Not quite. She had her leg up on that panel. And she No, don’t. Let me just adjust your hips.

Stop it! Not now, Chrysalis. Daddy’s busy. FYI, I’m very comfortable with my body. So just really invade my personal space. hoarse murmur Dad, stop! rattle, all screaming Oh, my God! overlapping yelling.

Agh! Look, Dazzle. It’s Splasha, your girlfriend. Thank God. Splasha, I’ve missed you so much. I know! Every second we’re apart is like a million eternities. No,lt;igt; yoult;igt; try and keep up. laughs.

upbeat music ♪ ♪ ♪ I see your fin begging my to play ♪ ♪ As silver angels chart the course ♪ ♪ With their echolocation ♪ ♪ I wipe a tear as the blow holes spray ♪ ♪ Wise old Mr. Octopus ♪ ♪ Applauds in celebration ♪.

™ª Never thought that I would know my destiny ♪ ♪ Till the day I saw a thousand eels ♪ ♪ And called it harmony ♪ ♪ I kissed a reef in Aquatica ♪ ♪ Never going back to all those stupid dicks on land ♪ ♪ Oh yeah ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ I kissed a reef in Aquatica ♪.

™ª The kissed a reef ♪ ♪ I touched a cod ♪ ♪ In Aquatica ♪ ♪ I touched a cod ♪.

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